tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87487121904818363832024-03-08T09:55:58.646-08:00not / alone / because / of / jesus Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-30961101236303494632018-12-06T09:56:00.000-08:002018-12-06T09:56:19.752-08:00dear strong adult mei am. tired. fragile. frightened.<br />
<br />
weak.<br />
<br />
he keeps me alone. isolated. confused.<br />
trapped.<br />
<br />
i am little. broken. forgotten.<br />
<br />
none listen to. my pleas. for rescue.<br />
none notice. my need. for help.<br />
<br />
who will you be? if you survive.<br />
where will you go? if you overcome.<br />
<br />
will your voice be strong?<br />
will speak about all the wrong?<br />
<br />
no one hears. my belittled voice.<br />
<br />
no one sees. my angry tears.<br />
<br />
for now.<br />
<br />
but. there is one. i believe.<br />
who sees me. hears me. knows me.<br />
<br />
the one. who made me. promises.<br />
to never hate me. hurt me. leave me. forsake me.<br />
<br />
he will. save me. deliver me. love me.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-26336175677759349342018-10-08T10:29:00.000-07:002018-10-08T10:29:56.677-07:00dear fragmented child mefirst a slap.<br />
then a smash.<br />
a cruel kick.<br />
does the trick.<br />
<br />
now you are.<br />
<br />
fragmented.<br />
<br />
broken. cracked. chipped.<br />
<br />
you run for cover.<br />
so none discover.<br />
<br />
the depth of your fear.<br />
in every. hidden. tear.<br />
<br />
the one who made you.<br />
is near.<br />
<br />
he gives strength.<br />
for one more day.<br />
teaches you. to pray.<br />
<br />
he collects. your tears.<br />
demolishes. your fears.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
you are still overcoming.<br />
<br />Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-76151936592538857642018-01-08T07:10:00.001-08:002018-01-08T07:10:31.537-08:00dear alone adult mei am unknown. afraid.<br />
<br />
alone.<br />
<br />
the abuser.<br />
my accuser.<br />
names me. loser.<br />
<br />
his fists. land.<br />
i hang. by a strand.<br />
<br />
i’m not allowed. to stand.<br />
<br />
he is barbaric. cruel.<br />
i feel like. a fool.<br />
<br />
desperate to breathe.<br />
i long for. reprieve.<br />
for now. i grieve.<br />
<br />
to christ. i cleave.<br />
<br />
one day. i will leave.<br />
pain. terror. aloneness.<br />
jesus will. relieve<br />
<br />
though i hurt. fall.<br />
crawl.<br />
he hears. my anguished call.<br />
<br />
i am not.<br />
alone.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows.<br />
knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-73551966242368411752017-12-01T10:53:00.000-08:002017-12-01T10:53:03.966-08:00dear loved little girl meyou shrink. shirk. shrug.<br />
to think of being. seen. known.<br />
<br />
loved.<br />
<br />
the tormentor. taunts. haunts. daunts.<br />
shames you. blames you. hates you.<br />
<br />
his vileness. knows. no bounds.<br />
his atrocities. unrelenting.<br />
<br />
you believe. you are.<br />
unworthy. unclean.<br />
unknown. unlovable.<br />
<br />
there is one. who sees you.<br />
hears you. knows you.<br />
loves you.<br />
<br />
the one who. made you.<br />
sustains you. frees you. redeems you.<br />
<br />
he does not.<br />
leave you. abandon you. forsake you.<br />
<br />
in his time. he does.<br />
rescue you. restore you. renew you.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
you are loved.<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-72907274473090634882017-11-10T12:02:00.001-08:002017-11-10T12:02:32.667-08:00dear invisible older mei am nervous. hesitant. inhibited.<br />
oppressed.<br />
repressed.<br />
reluctant.<br />
<br />
invisible.<br />
<br />
he is cold. cruel. coarse.<br />
invading my body. and soul.<br />
with brutal. maniacal. force.<br />
<br />
i am cornered. contained. controlled.<br />
i do. as i am told.<br />
<br />
though i am young.<br />
i feel. terribly old.<br />
<br />
empty. barren. desolate.<br />
i plead. beg. argue.<br />
to a god. i cannot see.<br />
<br />
teetering trust. flimsy faith.<br />
sustain my hope. you will be seen.<br />
<br />
jesus said. seek. knock.<br />
<br />
i will seek.<br />
i will knock.<br />
the door will open.<br />
i will be found.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-57179999898647570902017-09-21T14:15:00.001-07:002017-09-21T14:15:54.625-07:00dear hushed child mei remember. the sound. of your silence.<br />
<br />
your noiseless screams.<br />
your hidden terror.<br />
your mute panic.<br />
your wordless shame.<br />
<br />
your. hushed. voice.<br />
<br />
the abuser is loud. strong. big.<br />
cruel. powerful.<br />
<br />
you are quiet. weak. small.<br />
numb. frozen.<br />
<br />
in the prison. of your fear.<br />
you cringe.<br />
<br />
confined. in your cell. of uncertainty.<br />
you pray.<br />
believe.<br />
anticipate.<br />
expect.<br />
<br />
redemption. freedom. liberation.<br />
<br />
jesus hears. knows. sees. responds.<br />
because of jesus. your voice is.<br />
redeemed.<br />
freed.<br />
unhushed.<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-74255576179989384362017-08-08T10:14:00.000-07:002017-08-08T10:14:57.505-07:00dear sabotaged older memy body. mangled.<br />
my heart. vandalized.<br />
my emotions. tainted.<br />
<br />
my life. sabotaged.<br />
<br />
lies. darkness. rage.<br />
evil.<br />
<br />
surround me.<br />
engulf me.<br />
suffocate me.<br />
<br />
the abuser is. powerful.<br />
manipulative.<br />
calculating.<br />
<br />
i am. determined.<br />
stubborn.<br />
obstinate.<br />
<br />
i cling to the hope.<br />
that jesus is. who he says he is.<br />
<br />
my creator. savior. redeemer.<br />
<br />
he promises. comfort. peace.<br />
truth. <br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-59206354272400771822017-05-27T10:48:00.000-07:002017-05-27T10:48:28.511-07:00dear tempted teenager metenuous. tired. twisted.<br />
<br />
tempted.<br />
<br />
you fight. you lose.<br />
you give in. you lose.<br />
you run. nowhere.<br />
you freeze. in shame.<br />
<br />
he teases you. taunts you. tortures you.<br />
terrifies you.<br />
<br />
you learn to.<br />
stifle the tears. numb the pain.<br />
shun the fears. hide the stain. <br />
<br />
you hope. you pray. you believe.<br />
<br />
you endure.<br />
<br />
persevere.<br />
<br />
persist.<br />
<br />
plod. struggle. crawl.<br />
<br />
you remember. your maker.<br />
your cross bearer. your pain taker.<br />
your savior.<br />
<br />
he sustains you. holds you. carries you.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming. Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-35591029034304334732017-03-22T17:13:00.000-07:002017-03-22T17:13:43.581-07:00dear weary older mei am weak. wounded. weary.<br />
<br />
small.<br />
<br />
fearful. fragile. furious.<br />
<br />
nothing. i try. stops him.<br />
everything. i try. provokes him.<br />
<br />
rage and terror. boil. in my stomach.<br />
disgust and repulsion. torture. my mind.<br />
confusion and rebellion. derail. my heart.<br />
<br />
shame and sadness. shadow. my life.<br />
<br />
i feel powerless. senseless. useless.<br />
<br />
with little faith. i turn to jesus.<br />
i fight. in my mind. to give him. my thoughts.<br />
i ache. in my heart. to trust him. completely.<br />
<br />
his life. his death. his word.<br />
show me. he asks nothing of me. he doesn't do himself.<br />
<br />
he knows pain. grief. loss. abandonment. torment.<br />
<br />
yet.<br />
<br />
he forgives sinners. rescues captives. frees prisoners.<br />
saves lives. heals hearts. breaks chains. loves people.<br />
<br />
we are made. in his image. to imitate him.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-52428539096772436852017-02-18T06:41:00.001-08:002017-02-18T06:41:49.989-08:00dear cringing child meyou tremble. shudder. squirm. cringe.<br />
<br />
he laughs. mocks. humiliates. terrorizes.<br />
<br />
you feel desperate. manic. helpless.<br />
<br />
he is devious. treacherous. savage.<br />
<br />
the abuse. is hidden. in plain sight.<br />
<br />
they look. but don't see.<br />
they hear. but don't listen.<br />
they know. but are unaware.<br />
<br />
he is a master of.<br />
manipulation. deception. pretense.<br />
<br />
you have one assurance. one confidence.<br />
one hope. <br />
<br />
jesus.<br />
<br />
he confronted. manipulative. conniving. <br />
unscrupulous. people.<br />
<br />
he looks. sees. hears. listens. knows. <br />
he is fully. aware. of your. reality.<br />
<br />
he does not. leave you. alone.<br />
<br />
he restores. your calm. <br />
strengthens. your faith.<br />
secures. your future.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived. <br />
<br />
you are still overcoming. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-23336866945280165182017-02-05T10:45:00.000-08:002017-02-05T10:45:21.294-08:00dear alone older mea storm. is crashing down. outside.<br />
<br />
there is hail. lightening. thunder.<br />
hurricane wind.<br />
<br />
a different storm. brews. inside.<br />
<br />
there is terror. violence. desolation.<br />
abominable assaults.<br />
<br />
alone. afraid. <br />
<br />
abandoned. to his. depravity.<br />
<br />
ashamed. of my. weakness.<br />
<br />
my spirit. crushed.<br />
my body. mangled.<br />
my mind. disturbed.<br />
<br />
i do not. speak. of the abuse.<br />
the damage. the debilitating fear.<br />
<br />
except to jesus. <br />
<br />
before him. i am exposed. uncovered.<br />
raw. not alone. <br />
<br />
nothing. is hidden. from him.<br />
i trust. his redemption. will come.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-57047331689855258692017-02-01T05:21:00.000-08:002017-02-01T05:21:08.438-08:00dear turbulent child mehis fury is fierce. his wrath. unrestrained.<br />
he is wild. violent. sadistic.<br />
<br />
you feel livid. enraged. irate.<br />
<br />
your thoughts. agitated.<br />
your body. unstable.<br />
your emotions. turbulent.<br />
<br />
you are small. weak. young.<br />
<br />
he is monstrous. massive. merciless.<br />
<br />
you know. what fresh hell. awaits you.<br />
every day.<br />
<br />
how can morning. be good?<br />
how can night. be good?<br />
<br />
you question. you wonder. you struggle. <br />
you dare to hope. dream. believe.<br />
<br />
jesus stays with you. he reminds you. he knows. <br />
firsthand. the cruelty. of people.<br />
<br />
he is not unaware. of your nightmare.<br />
he does. deliver you. free you.<br />
vindicate you.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-91611086225740582842017-01-28T04:53:00.000-08:002017-01-28T04:53:32.697-08:00dear tenderhearted adult meso loud. crashing thoughts. pounding images.<br />
raging emotions. <br />
<br />
noise. clamor. racket. <br />
<br />
crawl. creep. tip-toe.<br />
does not matter.<br />
he sees. hears. intercepts.<br />
<br />
alone. midnight. in the corner.<br />
in the shadow.<br />
<br />
quietness comes. pandemonium silenced.<br />
jesus whispers.<br />
<br />
he is my hope. my strength. my refuge.<br />
<br />
people. he created. tormented him.<br />
tortured him. ridiculed him. rejected him.<br />
<br />
yet his compassion. persisted.<br />
his mercy. magnified.<br />
his grace. relentless.<br />
<br />
he is strong. gentle. tender. kind.<br />
<br />
his truth. softens my heart.<br />
<br />
i believe. <br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-82433587616013859322016-12-31T05:55:00.000-08:002016-12-31T05:55:14.029-08:00dear little lost girl meyou are sad. alone. lost.<br />
you cower. when he enters. the room.<br />
the danger around you. is terrifying.<br />
<br />
your mind is infected. with fear.<br />
your dry tears. are filled. with rage.<br />
your silent screams. hide. in your gut.<br />
<br />
you fight. you resist. you repress.<br />
<br />
you pray.<br />
<br />
jesus hears you. stays with you. <br />
fights for you.<br />
<br />
he rescues you. from the abuse.<br />
delivers you. from the darkness.<br />
restores you. with a new heart.<br />
redeems you. to live for him.<br />
<br />
he heals. your mind. <br />
casts out. your fear.<br />
releases. your tears.<br />
removes. your rage.<br />
gives a voice. to your screams.<br />
<br />
you are loved. refined. found.<br />
because of jesus.<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-14967968706400628742016-12-17T05:52:00.000-08:002016-12-17T05:52:24.947-08:00dear peaceful older mei feel unsettled. uneasy. undone.<br />
<br />
peace seems unattainable. unreal. undeserved.<br />
unreachable.<br />
<br />
chaos. all around me. <br />
people in pain. afraid. ashamed. <br />
living in terror. violence. brokenness.<br />
<br />
i am one of them. <br />
<br />
he shows no mercy. <br />
ridicule. torment. torture.<br />
darkness. loneliness. <br />
follow. his assaults.<br />
<br />
i search. for peace. in my mind.<br />
jesus talks about peace. <br />
i focus. on his words.<br />
<br />
he said. peace. i leave you.<br />
my peace. i give you. <br />
<br />
though there was. pain. in him. <br />
pain. all around him. <br />
his very presence. brought peace. <br />
to the most troubled souls.<br />
<br />
because of jesus. you will. know peace.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.<br />
<br />
<br />Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-1611880788423617702016-12-03T04:46:00.000-08:002016-12-03T04:46:23.848-08:00dear shocked twenty something year old meyou hit the ground. running. you try not to look back.<br />
he taught you well. you learned a lot.<br />
<br />
his abuse taught you. to be vigilant. apprehensive. <br />
ashamed.<br />
<br />
his torment taught you. to be defensive. angry.<br />
stubborn.<br />
<br />
his power and control taught you. to feel worthless.<br />
useless. unlovable.<br />
<br />
these responses. and tactics. you've learned so well.<br />
helped you. survive. you soon realize. they don't work anymore. <br />
you are perplexed. confused.<br />
<br />
shocked.<br />
<br />
jesus is faithful. you are his. he never leaves you. <br />
though you lack understanding. you believe. <br />
<br />
you believe. he is who he says he is. <br />
you believe. he is alive. powerful. <br />
and active. in your life. <br />
<br />
he teaches you. to be patient.<br />
he transforms you. to be compassionate.<br />
he redeems you. to live for him.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-44380538882258330902016-11-26T06:04:00.000-08:002016-11-26T06:04:58.360-08:00dear pensive older mei am hesitant. careful. hyper-vigilant.<br />
pensive.<br />
<br />
he is cruel. barbaric. ruthless. devious.<br />
<br />
i feel bare. exposed. undefended. condemned.<br />
sad. scared. humiliated. <br />
<br />
the will to fight. within me. is strong.<br />
the will. to carry on. is not.<br />
the will to pretend. fake. feign. lie.<br />
is a sham. it is exhausting. <br />
<br />
jesus is. the way. the truth.<br />
and the life. he is light. love. savior.<br />
<br />
everything. i long for. hope for. pray for.<br />
<br />
he penetrates my fear. my desperation. my sorrow.<br />
he keeps me. from drowning. in my shame.<br />
<br />
he reaches. down. into my reality.<br />
shines his light. into my darkness.<br />
speaks his truth. into my facade.<br />
<br />
i will. lay before him. what is in me.<br />
the good. the bad. and the ugly.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all. Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-47224702440635993272016-11-12T07:48:00.000-08:002016-11-12T07:48:30.899-08:00dear shy little girl meyou are reserved. quiet. ashamed.<br />
<br />
shy.<br />
<br />
he holds you down. you brace yourself.<br />
he humiliates you. you internalize the shame.<br />
he tortures you. you fight back the tears.<br />
<br />
you dare not speak. to avoid another round.<br />
<br />
you dare to speak. his force intensifies.<br />
<br />
you fume. on the inside.<br />
you are calm. on the outside.<br />
<br />
you are a child. he is an adult.<br />
you can only. survive. for now.<br />
<br />
you shy away. from trusting.<br />
you juggle. hope and fear.<br />
you balance. pain and sorrow.<br />
<br />
jesus faced opposition. endured the cross. suffered betrayal.<br />
<br />
he gets you. knows you. forgives you. loves you.<br />
he made you. to endure. persevere. overcome.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived. you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-46917944365086740832016-11-05T07:12:00.000-07:002016-11-05T07:12:04.703-07:00dear merciful adult mei feel as though i am in a vivid nightmare.<br />
nothing makes sense. <br />
<br />
i see other kids.<br />
they seem happy. safe. different.<br />
<br />
different from me. <br />
<br />
what must it be like? to not be terrorized.<br />
abused. degraded. abandoned.<br />
<br />
other kids play. laugh. smile.<br />
they like going home.<br />
<br />
or so it seems.<br />
<br />
i curled up last night. into a ball. on the floor.<br />
in a corner of my bedroom. after he gave me.<br />
another lesson. in abuse.<br />
<br />
i must have stayed. in that corner. in the dark. <br />
for hours. <br />
<br />
pleading with jesus. for mercy.<br />
<br />
he reminded me. again. that vengeance belongs. to him. <br />
and that he will never. leave me.<br />
<br />
i ponder his life here. what he encountered. endured.<br />
survived. overcame.<br />
<br />
i want to. be merciful. as he is merciful.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.<br />
<br />Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-78431057148801781282016-10-29T07:40:00.000-07:002016-10-29T07:40:00.293-07:00dear angry child mei remember. the hot rage. the dry tears.<br />
the simmering anger.<br />
<br />
you feel helpless. exposed. furious.<br />
<br />
he satisfies. his lust. by degrading. you.<br />
<br />
you are fragile. yet sturdy.<br />
tender. yet resilient.<br />
weak. yet strong.<br />
raw. yet merciful.<br />
<br />
the pain. the lies. the torment.<br />
take their toll. on your soul. and your body.<br />
<br />
you turn. your anger. inward.<br />
<br />
to let it flow. outward. seems wrong. dangerous.<br />
sinful.<br />
<br />
jesus understands your anger. your confusion. <br />
your vulnerability. <br />
<br />
he purifies your emotions. strengthens your heart.<br />
forgives your sin. grows your faith.<br />
<br />
he cleanses you from. all unrighteousness.<br />
he transforms. your spirit.<br />
renews. your mind.<br />
fortifies. your spirit.<br />
sustains. your body.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
your survived.<br />
<br />
you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-55215626640889911922016-10-21T09:45:00.000-07:002016-10-21T09:45:29.140-07:00dear undomesticated older mei'm so scared. wretched. forsaken. forlorn.<br />
<br />
danger looms. in every room. <br />
<br />
he ties everything. into abuse. <br />
chores. school. hygiene. <br />
<br />
cooking.<br />
<br />
the kitchen. i hate. the kitchen.<br />
<br />
his cruelty. knocks me down. shuts me up.<br />
tears me apart.<br />
<br />
how can home. ever be. a safe place? <br />
<br />
today i feel. hollow. like an empty shell. <br />
uncivilized. undomesticated. displaced.<br />
<br />
i am certain. jesus knows. intimately. my<br />
tormented soul. he was treated. savagely. by the very ones.<br />
he gives life. and breath to. <br />
<br />
he must know. the depth of my pain. my fear. my despair.<br />
because of him. your home. will be different.<br />
<br />
because of jesus. i can endure. persevere. survive.<br />
<br />
nothing is hidden. from him. nothing.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-30128516613076240132016-10-14T15:47:00.003-07:002016-10-14T15:47:52.731-07:00dear crushed child mewounds heal. damage mends. emotions settle.<br />
thoughts improve. life moves along.<br />
<br />
his violence. leaves you. silenced. ashamed.<br />
confused. tormented. outraged. sore.<br />
<br />
crushed.<br />
<br />
you live with. the burning. the stench. <br />
the pain. the vomiting. the reeling.<br />
the rage. the panic.<br />
<br />
you fight. the images. the terror. <br />
the sadness. the nausea.<br />
<br />
you pray. habitually.<br />
<br />
your honesty. with jesus. <br />
is miraculous. <br />
<br />
you believe. he is. the god. who sees you.<br />
hears you. knows you. fights for you.<br />
<br />
he enters your sorrow. your agony. <br />
your loneliness. your horror. <br />
<br />
he takes on. the pain. of your. reality.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
your survived. you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-14011847132768216742016-10-08T07:01:00.000-07:002016-10-08T11:32:30.584-07:00dear broken older memy heart. is broken. my spirit crushed.<br />
<br />
my body. feels wretched.<br />
<br />
my soul. in pieces. <br />
<br />
i dread. being home. alone. with him.<br />
<br />
i fight. the fear within. i berate. myself.<br />
in my thoughts. i feel. foolish. stupid.<br />
not human. <br />
<br />
a broken. object.<br />
<br />
i hold on. to hope. that jesus will. sustain me.<br />
rescue me. free me. heal me.<br />
<br />
for now i hide. my pain. trusting in. his mercy.<br />
<br />
i remember a story. he met a lady. at a well.<br />
he told her. he was living water. he spoke words.<br />
of life to her. he loved her. she knew it.<br />
<br />
he knew. everything. about her. his very presence.<br />
changed her life. that day. <br />
<br />
jesus binds up. the brokenhearted. because he sees. <br />
he hears. he feels. he enters. our suffering.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-12886643652867605162016-10-03T05:48:00.001-07:002016-10-08T11:33:27.237-07:00dear compassionate younger meyou never want anyone. to feel. the way you do. to suffer abuse.<br />
loneliness. fear. sadness. terror. brutality. bullying.<br />
<br />
your heart is angry. yet tender.<br />
<br />
downtrodden. yet hopeful.<br />
<br />
hardened. yet soft.<br />
<br />
roughened. yet gentle.<br />
<br />
resentful. yet compassionate.<br />
<br />
you come to know. a love greater than any other. deeper than<br />
any sorrow. stronger than any despair. <br />
<br />
jesus takes your hand. your heart. your pain. your shame.<br />
<br />
his compassion. is salve. to your soul.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
because of his. relentless love. you know him. as your creator. savior.<br />
lord. friend. brother. healer. shepherd. <br />
<br />
lover. of your soul.<br />
<br />
because of jesus-<br />
<br />
you survived. you are still overcoming.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8748712190481836383.post-83431965671205157972016-10-01T07:24:00.001-07:002016-10-08T11:34:14.984-07:00dear defiled lady mei resent. the reality. that i will. never. know. what it feels like.<br />
to be pure. <br />
<br />
he stole that. from me. like a savage.<br />
<br />
he ransacks. my body.<br />
<br />
wreaks havoc. on my mind.<br />
<br />
shatters. my heart.<br />
<br />
my soul is raw. wild. misguided. poisoned.<br />
<br />
i am desolate.<br />
<br />
defiled.<br />
<br />
i long to be clean. peaceful. whole.<br />
<br />
jesus promises peace. salvation. freedom. growth. strength.<br />
forgiveness. mercy. grace. love.<br />
<br />
compassion. <br />
<br />
redemption.<br />
<br />
i believe.<br />
<br />
he knows. knows all.Enola Tonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02719189509991448628noreply@blogger.com0