dear fragile small me

you are brave.  so very brave.

you're brave because i know how angry and terrified you are.

how fragile you are.

your body was never meant to be used.  abused.
beaten.  trashed.  exposed.  exploited.  devalued.

i remember the battles in your mind.

you hate him; you love him
he makes you sick; you feel sorry for him
you detest him; you obey him
you fear him; you pray for him
you despise him; you care for him

you feel guilty.  ashamed.  for what he is doing.

you want to expose him; you want to protect your little family

you can't understand any of it.  you run
to jesus with your thoughts.

he comforts you.  assures you.  builds your faith.  in him.

you trust him.

because of jesus-

you survived.

you are still overcoming.