dear strong adult me

i am. tired. fragile. frightened.

weak.

he keeps me alone. isolated. confused.
trapped.

i am little. broken. forgotten.

none listen to. my pleas. for rescue.
none notice. my need. for help.

who will you be? if you survive.
where will you go? if you overcome.

will your voice be strong?
will speak about all the wrong?

no one hears. my belittled voice.

no one sees. my angry tears.

for now.

but. there is one. i believe.
who sees me. hears me. knows me.

the one. who made me. promises.
to never hate me. hurt me. leave me. forsake me.

he will. save me. deliver me. love me.

i believe.

 he knows. knows all.

dear fragmented child me

first a slap.
then a smash.
a cruel kick.
does the trick.

now you are.

fragmented.

broken. cracked. chipped.

you run for cover.
so none discover.

the depth of your fear.
in every. hidden. tear.

the one who made you.
is near.

he gives strength.
for one more day.
teaches you. to pray.

he collects. your tears.
demolishes. your fears.

because of jesus-

you survived.
you are still overcoming.

dear alone adult me

i am unknown. afraid.

alone.

the abuser.
my accuser.
names me. loser.

his fists. land.
i hang. by a strand.

i’m not allowed. to stand.

he is barbaric. cruel.
i feel like. a fool.

desperate to breathe.
i long for. reprieve.
for now. i grieve.

to christ. i cleave.

one day. i will leave.
pain. terror. aloneness.
jesus will. relieve

though i hurt. fall.
crawl.
he hears. my anguished call.

i am not.
alone.

i believe.

he knows.
knows all.

dear loved little girl me

you shrink. shirk. shrug.
to think of being. seen. known.

loved.

the tormentor. taunts. haunts. daunts.
shames you. blames you. hates you.

his vileness. knows. no bounds.
his atrocities. unrelenting.

you believe. you are.
unworthy. unclean.
unknown. unlovable.

there is one. who sees you.
hears you. knows you.
loves you.

the one who. made you.
sustains you. frees you. redeems you.

he does not.
leave you. abandon you. forsake you.

in his time. he does.
rescue you. restore you. renew you.

because of jesus-
you are loved.

you survived.
you are still overcoming.

dear invisible older me

i am nervous. hesitant. inhibited.
oppressed.
repressed.
reluctant.

invisible.

he is cold. cruel. coarse.
invading my body. and soul.
with brutal. maniacal. force.

i am cornered. contained. controlled.
i do. as i am told.

though i am young.
i feel. terribly old.

empty. barren. desolate.
i plead. beg. argue.
to a god. i cannot see.

teetering trust. flimsy faith.
sustain my hope. you will be seen.

jesus said. seek. knock.

i will seek.
i will knock.
the door will open.
i will be found.

i believe.

he knows. knows all.

dear hushed child me

i remember. the sound. of your silence.

your noiseless screams.
your hidden terror.
your mute panic.
your wordless shame.

your. hushed. voice.

the abuser is loud. strong. big.
cruel. powerful.

you are quiet. weak. small.
numb. frozen.

in the prison. of your fear.
you cringe.

confined. in your cell. of uncertainty.
you pray.
believe.
anticipate.
expect.

redemption. freedom. liberation.

jesus hears. knows. sees. responds.
because of jesus. your voice is.
redeemed.
freed.
unhushed.

you survived.

you are still overcoming.

dear sabotaged older me

my body.  mangled.
my heart.  vandalized.
my emotions.  tainted.

my life.  sabotaged.

lies.  darkness.  rage.
evil.

surround me.
engulf me.
suffocate me.

the abuser is.  powerful.
manipulative.
calculating.

i am.  determined.
stubborn.
obstinate.

i cling to the hope.
that jesus is.  who he says he is.

my creator.  savior.  redeemer.

he promises.  comfort.  peace.
truth.

i believe.

he knows.  knows all.