Saturday, December 31, 2016

dear little lost girl me

you are sad.  alone.  lost.
you cower.  when he enters.  the room.
the danger around you.  is terrifying.

your mind is infected.  with fear.
your dry tears.  are filled.  with rage.
your silent screams.  hide.  in your gut.

you fight.  you resist.  you repress.

you pray.

jesus hears you.  stays with you.
fights for you.

he rescues you.  from the abuse.
delivers you.  from the darkness.
restores you.  with a new heart.
redeems you.  to live for him.

he heals.  your mind.
casts out.  your fear.
releases.  your tears.
removes.  your rage.
gives a voice.  to your screams.

you are loved.  refined.  found.
because of jesus.

you survived.

you are still overcoming.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

dear peaceful older me

i feel unsettled.  uneasy.  undone.

peace seems unattainable.  unreal.  undeserved.
unreachable.

chaos.  all around me.
people in pain.  afraid.  ashamed.
living in terror.  violence.  brokenness.

i am one of them.

he shows no mercy.
ridicule.  torment.  torture.
darkness. loneliness.
follow.  his assaults.

i search.  for peace.  in my mind.
jesus talks about peace.
i focus.  on his words.

he said.  peace.  i leave you.
my peace.  i give you.

though there was.  pain.  in him.
pain.  all around him.
his very presence.  brought peace.
to the most troubled souls.

because of jesus.  you will.  know peace.

i believe.

he knows.  knows all.


Saturday, December 3, 2016

dear shocked twenty something year old me

you hit the ground.  running.  you try not to look back.
he taught you well.  you learned a lot.

his abuse taught you.  to be vigilant.  apprehensive.
ashamed.

his torment taught you.  to be defensive.  angry.
stubborn.

his power and control taught you.  to feel worthless.
useless.  unlovable.

these responses.  and tactics.  you've learned so well.
helped you.  survive.  you soon realize.  they don't work anymore.
you are perplexed.  confused.

shocked.

jesus is faithful.  you are his.  he never leaves you.
though you lack understanding.  you believe.

you believe.  he is who he says he is.
you believe.  he is alive.  powerful.
and active.  in your life.

he teaches you.  to be patient.
he transforms you.  to be compassionate.
he redeems you.  to live for him.

because of jesus-

you survived.

you are still overcoming.