dear shocked twenty something year old me

you hit the ground.  running.  you try not to look back.
he taught you well.  you learned a lot.

his abuse taught you.  to be vigilant.  apprehensive.
ashamed.

his torment taught you.  to be defensive.  angry.
stubborn.

his power and control taught you.  to feel worthless.
useless.  unlovable.

these responses.  and tactics.  you've learned so well.
helped you.  survive.  you soon realize.  they don't work anymore.
you are perplexed.  confused.

shocked.

jesus is faithful.  you are his.  he never leaves you.
though you lack understanding.  you believe.

you believe.  he is who he says he is.
you believe.  he is alive.  powerful.
and active.  in your life.

he teaches you.  to be patient.
he transforms you.  to be compassionate.
he redeems you.  to live for him.

because of jesus-

you survived.

you are still overcoming.