dear cringing child me

you tremble.  shudder.  squirm.  cringe.

he laughs.  mocks.  humiliates.  terrorizes.

you feel desperate.  manic.  helpless.

he is devious.  treacherous.  savage.

the abuse.  is hidden.  in plain sight.

they look.  but don't see.
they hear.  but don't listen.
they know.  but are unaware.

he is a master of.
manipulation.  deception.  pretense.

you have one assurance.  one confidence.
one hope.

jesus.

he confronted.  manipulative.  conniving.
unscrupulous.  people.

he looks.  sees.  hears.  listens.  knows.
he is fully.  aware.  of your.  reality.

he does not.  leave you.  alone.

he restores.  your calm.
strengthens.  your faith.
secures.  your future.

because of jesus-

you survived.

you are still overcoming.

dear alone older me

a storm.  is crashing down.  outside.

there is hail.  lightening.  thunder.
hurricane wind.

a different storm.  brews.  inside.

there is terror.  violence.  desolation.
abominable assaults.

alone.  afraid.

abandoned.  to his.  depravity.

ashamed.  of my.  weakness.

my spirit.  crushed.
my body.  mangled.
my mind.  disturbed.

i do not.  speak.  of the abuse.
the damage.  the debilitating fear.

except to jesus.

before him.  i am exposed.  uncovered.
raw.  not alone.

nothing.  is hidden.  from him.
i trust.  his redemption.  will come.

i believe.

he knows.  knows all.

dear turbulent child me

his fury is fierce.  his wrath.  unrestrained.
he is wild.  violent.  sadistic.

you feel livid.  enraged.  irate.

your thoughts.  agitated.
your body.  unstable.
your emotions.  turbulent.

you are small.  weak.  young.

he is monstrous.  massive.  merciless.

you know.  what fresh hell.  awaits you.
every day.

how can morning.  be good?
how can night.  be good?

you question.  you wonder.  you struggle.
you dare to hope.  dream.  believe.

jesus stays with you.  he reminds you.  he knows.
firsthand.  the cruelty.  of people.

he is not unaware.  of your nightmare.
he does.  deliver you.  free you.
vindicate you.

because of jesus-

you survived.

you are still overcoming.