dear peaceful older me

i feel unsettled.  uneasy.  undone.

peace seems unattainable.  unreal.  undeserved.
unreachable.

chaos.  all around me.
people in pain.  afraid.  ashamed.
living in terror.  violence.  brokenness.

i am one of them.

he shows no mercy.
ridicule.  torment.  torture.
darkness. loneliness.
follow.  his assaults.

i search.  for peace.  in my mind.
jesus talks about peace.
i focus.  on his words.

he said.  peace.  i leave you.
my peace.  i give you.

though there was.  pain.  in him.
pain.  all around him.
his very presence.  brought peace.
to the most troubled souls.

because of jesus.  you will.  know peace.

i believe.

he knows.  knows all.