dear adult survivor me

this day.  changed me.  i'm sure of it.

the smallest movement.  hurts.  even my skin.  is sick.
my mind.  a disaster.

how will i hide?  these bruises.  these scars.  this rage.
this sadness.  this humiliation.

how can i pretend?  this day.  didn't happen.

how can i forget?  so you won't remember.

today.  the pain.  and the shame.  are too much.

you will always carry.  the destruction.  of this day.
in your body.  soul.  and spirit.

and yet.  i do want to.

survive.

with a drop.  of faith.  i pray.  to jesus.

he knows.  the horror.  of this day.  he was there.  he
is here.  i am not alone.

again. i ponder.  his life here.  his crucifixion.  his
words.  his power.

his promises.

i believe.

he knows.  knows all.