i feel as though i am in a vivid nightmare.
nothing makes sense.
i see other kids.
they seem happy. safe. different.
different from me.
what must it be like? to not be terrorized.
abused. degraded. abandoned.
other kids play. laugh. smile.
they like going home.
or so it seems.
i curled up last night. into a ball. on the floor.
in a corner of my bedroom. after he gave me.
another lesson. in abuse.
i must have stayed. in that corner. in the dark.
for hours.
pleading with jesus. for mercy.
he reminded me. again. that vengeance belongs. to him.
and that he will never. leave me.
i ponder his life here. what he encountered. endured.
survived. overcame.
i want to. be merciful. as he is merciful.
i believe.
he knows. knows all.
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