i imagine you grown up. being a lady. like the lady
i admire most. in whose womb i was knit together.
so many times i want to run away. my love. my need for her.
keeps me in place. my need for her love. paramount.
my desire to defend her. to deflect assaults. keeps me in place.
she seems so strong. tough. she does not cry out loud.
he punched her last night right in front of me. i threw boiling water
on his back. he turned his assaults toward me.
everything hurts. everything.
try to make myself invisible. feel so dirty.
being in water. my favorite place. water. need more water.
back to school tomorrow. i fear my mask is cracking.
someone will see. my shame. my humiliation.
jesus. despised the shame.
he is the only. hope. i have.
i believe.
he knows. knows all.
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